Hally Potter & The Dirty Bleeding Melons


What happens when a DVD for the Chinese version of a Harry Potter movie also offers a version with English subtitles? As the venerable TV Guide would say in days of yore, “Hilarity ensues.”

Hogwarts was at the centre of a vexing produce crisis.

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To which Hagrid added,

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Whatever was going on, it was clear that Draco Malfoy really hated these oversized berries. It was the worst insult he could think of.

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“Why’d he do that?” asked the famed boy wizard

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“Isn’t it obvious?” asked a professor who looked remarkably like George Washington from behind.

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Was this just another nasty Slytherin childish prank? Or some dark adolescent misogynist taunt? No…because as it turned out, Hermione wasn’t the only Hogwarts student cruelly connected to hemorrhaging honeydews. For it seems that it was also the

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said Ron to Malfoy, to which Professor McGonigle added,

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When everyone looked at her completely confused, Headmaster Dumbledore explained,

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Professor Snape could take no more of this vehemently venomous vegetable vitriol.

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But Ron Weasley jumped to Hermione’s defense. “You know what you can just go do if you don’t like melons?” he screamed at Malfoy.

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Malfoy shook a newspaper angrily in their faces.

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Oh great. Not only were the gushing gourds bleeding and insulting, but now they were ratting out misbehaving students. Mrs. Weasley was furious when she found out.

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complained Hermione. “But if you think the melons are bad here,

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Despite the profoundly pernicious produce, though, everyone agreed on one thing:

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And people think human translators are the best at parsing participles, catching cultural context and identifying idioms. Sometimes they can be real melonheads!

 

At Yappn, we prefer automatic machine translation, with a little help from fluent human proofreaders. It’s just easier and less expensive. And our lexicons know the difference between melons and Muggles!

Written by Nicole Chardenet, Sales Representative at Yappn. For more information, visit us at http://yappn.com/ or contact us at sales@yappn.com

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